Bugging me :( :(

I am so bugged. Writing this post from office. From 4 days I have been trying to deploy my Matlab application on another system. This is the sad turn of events :(.

1. The "deploytool" of Matlab compiler which was working, suddenly stopped working.
2. Called up Mathworks support and somehow got the issue fixed by changing some system environment variable.
3. Then the application built properly.
4. Next, I tried to deploy it on another system and it bombed at that system.
5. Tried to execute that application on my system. Started getting "Java Out of Memory Error"
6. Called up Mathworks to get their help. They suggested some code changes and i implemented the same. Before I could test the application, I got locked out of Matlab Database Toolbox.
7. It took a while to get a license to access the database toolbox.
8. Then while I could start testing, my Computer monitor blew. :-(
9. Got that fixed.
10. Tested my application and found that still wasn't working.
11. Changed the JDBC driver to the latest available. Still aint working

Java exception occurred:
java.lang.OutOfMemoryError: Java heap space

at com.mysql.jdbc.Buffer.(Buffer.java:58)

at com.mysql.jdbc.MysqlIO.nextRow(MysqlIO.java:1441)

at com.mysql.jdbc.MysqlIO.readSingleRowSet(MysqlIO.java:2816)

at com.mysql.jdbc.MysqlIO.getResultSet(MysqlIO.java:467)

at com.mysql.jdbc.MysqlIO.readResultsForQueryOrUpdate(MysqlIO.java:2510)

at com.mysql.jdbc.MysqlIO.readAllResults(MysqlIO.java:1746)

at com.mysql.jdbc.MysqlIO.sqlQueryDirect(MysqlIO.java:2135)

at com.mysql.jdbc.ConnectionImpl.execSQL(ConnectionImpl.java:2536)

at com.mysql.jdbc.ConnectionImpl.execSQL(ConnectionImpl.java:2465)

at com.mysql.jdbc.StatementImpl.executeQuery(StatementImpl.java:1383)

at com.mathworks.toolbox.database.sqlExec.executeTheSelectStatement(sqlExec.java:170)

This exception is taking my night's sleep away.. :(

So true :-)

A physician, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world. The physician remarked, "Weil, in the Bible, it says that God created Eve from a rib taken out of Adam. This clearly required surgery, and so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world." The civil engineer interrupted, and said, "But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong: mine is the oldest profession in the world." The computer scientist leaned back in her chair, smiled, and then said confidently, "Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?"

Life, Hope, faith..........

Who can forget one of the most wonderful aphorisms to have been shown on the celluloid, from the movie Shawshank Redemption. "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things and good things never die". I hear people talking about never losing hope in life and believing in "Whatever happens happens for the best?" .

"Dont worry, God has the best things in store for you". "Be courageous and look forward to the future, be optimistic". Aren't these supportive caring words from near and dear ones words necessary whenever things are not looking up. Don't they instill in you a lost confidence, a lost trust.

Optimism, faith, hope, God all being convoluted and intertwined concepts sometimes beyond comprehension.

The labyrinths of human nature has always intrigued me. When things are down, our emotions go through a cycle. First we feel disappointed and depressed. In this phase there is a feeling of hopelessness.Then after a while we feel angry - angry over destiny and faith. We blame God, we look for reasons, we blame whoever is responsible. Human ego never lets us blame ourselves. Then we solicit help. We try to talk to the close ones, share our anxieties and concerns. After some time we again become optimistic and start looking forward to a brighter future. Maybe this is the reason why they say "Time is the best healer". The sore times and how we react under such circumstances stand testimony to our conviction and inner strength.

Sometimes I wonder, "aren't faith, hope and optimism just a bait to push us forward in performing our actions. Is it always necessary to get the best in life? Is it true that temporary set backs are a part of a larger radiant picture of life that God has in store for us? What is pessimism, what is optimism? Doesn't optimism lead to future pessimism, if things don't work out? If not then is human hope and faith eternal? Does God exist? If yes, how much of a control does God have on anybody's life?. Is there a dependency between our actions and results? Who is affecting our actions and who is affecting our results? If God controls our actions and actions cause results, what is our purpose in the scheme of things?. What should be our take on life?".

Probably these questions might be complex enough to not have specific answers. Maybe they might be the questions that man has been trying to answer since ancient civilizations.

It is in this context that quotes from the Geeta like
"Karmanye Vadhikarasthe, Ma Phaleshu Kadachana", concepts like an unwavering, steady mind - the trait and character of a "sthitapragna", make them essentially the crux of its teachings.

"When a person gives up all the desires in his thoughtful state and when his inner self is satisfied within itself, at that time he is said to be a 'sthithapragna' ( a master in the stability of mind)"

"Undisturbed amidst three fold miseries, immobile in happiness, free from attraction, fear and anger, is called a sage of stable mind."

"Who is everywhere without affection, who does not praise or loathe auspicious or inauspicious events, his mind is stabilized."

"The knower of Brahman, stable of mind, established in the Supreme Brahman, shows no sign of rejoice when he achieves the objects of his desire nor agitation when unpleasant things happen to him."

"Unattached to external sense objects, immersed in himself, he remains blissful. Establishing his self in Brahman, such a Brahma yogi enjoys unlimited happiness."

Are these verses only for the spiritual yogis? Can a common man achieve a state of uncluttered mind?

Our efforts should be aimed at realizing a simple fact that both Good and Bad things do happen in life. And that there is only a limited relationship between efforts and results. Hence the Gita calls out for "desireless actions". We should at least make an effort in trying to perform actions without having hope and consequences as our prime objective. Ain't that difficult. Yes it is!

To add, One of my favorite Kishore da songs

Yeh Jeevan Hai, Is Jeevan Ka
Yahi Hai - Yahi Hai - Yahi Hai Rungroop
Thode Ghum Hain, Thodi Khushiyan
Yahi Hai - Yahi Hai - Yahi Hai Chaon Dhoop
Yeh Jeevan Hai...
Yeh Na Socho Isme Apni Haar Hai Ke Jeet Hai
Ise Apna Lo Jo Bhi Jeevan Ki Reet Hai
Yeh Zid Chodo, Bandhan Yuh Na Todo
Har Pal Ek Darpan Hai
Yeh Jeevan Hai...


Lastly, I would like to quote my favorite teacher TNS' discussion on this topic. "Life is a Sine Wave Kanree. At Pi/2 we are happy, At 3pi/2 we are sad. But realize that after 3pi/2 we have a 5pi/2. When you reach 5pi/2 don't become complacent kanree because 7pi/2 is approaching!". - More than Maths, I owe to this teaching of yours Sir.

Tenets of Terror

26 bomb blasts in 2 days. Around 20 bombs found in Surat. Political parties at war over a sensitive issue. Media condemning BJP for making a hue and cry and calling out for political unity during such a period of crisis. Every time a blast happens, the same pattern of reaction is seen.

Opposition party in India is called as the "Watchdog of Indian democracy". It is a great responsibility on their part to constructively criticize the government and support on issues of national interest. Sadly, Sushma Swaraj publicly accused the center of having carried out the blasts.

CNN - IBN's face the nations topic of the day was "Has Modi become a matured leader?"
Congress spokesperson Jayanthi Natarajan's answer was - "Why should we give credit to him? He has done his job as a CM!" . Yes madam you are very right! Only people to be credited in this country are the Gandhi family, the italian lady, her children, her grandchildren, great grand children and so on.

So to sum it up, Opposition party never leaves an opportunity to blemish the ruling party and center never wants to give credit to a state govt if it belongs to the opposition party. When can we see maturity among Indian politicians :( :(.

Yes, the country at this time needs strict terror laws. agencies need to be empowered so that anti - national elements could be caught and prosecuted on a fast track. Along with better intelligence infrastructure, we definitely need laws like POTA. How can a govt protect us, if it cannot decide whether to punish a person convicted by the supreme court in Parliament attack case? Gujarat and Rajasthan's anti terror laws have been pending approval by the parliament, where as Maharashtra's MACOCA was approved and is in place. why the step motherly treatment to states ruled by opposition party?

Terror, today is as equally in grown as it is being supported from outside. Gone are the days when we could straight away point fingers at our neighbouring countries. There is an equal amount of dirt in our own country. It is now time to act fast and act right.

Will the national parties take cognizance of the seriousness of the issue and work with consensus?

Thanks Internet!

I couldnt believe my eyes, when I met my childhood friend on Orkut 2 days back. My dad works in SBI. We used to get transferred all over Karnataka. Thats the saddest part of working in a public sector company. Friendships made are always temporary. Every time we had a transfer, I had a heart break. Every time I had to leave my friends, watch all of them stay together in the same place and see myself being separated from them. It is my nature that I get too attached to my friends over a period of time. I have always tried to be in touch with my old friends as much as possible. But eventually, distance and time got the better of me.


My native is Bijapur/Bagalkot in North Karnataka. We got transferred from Bijapur to a small town called Sindgi. I was just 3 yrs old then. My earliest friends were 2 girls - Preeti, Amrutha and a boy called Gopal. I remember them because we 4 of us would always play with girls' dolls and I would come out crying to my parents that I wanted a doll similar to theirs (I still get bantered by my cousins and relatives for this :P!!).

From there we moved to a city called Gulbarga. I joined school there. It was there that I met Chetan Joshi, Sangamnath Kulkarni and Shrinivas Kulkarni. We were just 6 yrs old and went to Christ Convene Convent school. Back then only, I used to roam around the city with these 3 guys(Of course within our limitations!). We used to play with marbles, fight horribly, make up after a while, go out on ice cream treats! Our "beedi - sutting" (roaming around streets!) activities had taken a toll and all 4 of us had flunked some test in 1st Std (As far as i remember it was General knowledge test! :P). All of us got punished badly both at school and home.It was great fun back then.

My acquaintance with them was just to last for 2 yrs. So after finishing my 1st and 2nd Std in Gulbarga, my family moved to Bangalore. Even though, I was just 8 yrs old and dint have much knowledge of the world I had the sense of staying in touch with the ppl I had the most fun with. Chetan was always my best friend. Almost inseparable. Today I really feel it to be unbelievable that we both wrote letters to each other till we were in 9th std. 2yrs of childhood friendship and 6 yrs of writing letters! But after a while, I dont know what happened, but we lost touch. I guess some of the letters that I wrote dint reach him. Finally i gave up and continued my life with my new friends in Mysore. (By 9th Std, I had moved out of Bangalore after my primary school to a high school in Mysore.).

2 days back I met all my 3 childhood friends on Orkut. I felt really happy to get back to them. Internet is really a powerful medium. I can now proudly say that I am in touch with majority of my friends that I had since I was 6yrs old. My Gulbarga friends, Bangalore Primary school friends, Mysore friends, Bangalore Engg College friends, Philips friends and of course I am currently with my Minnesota friends!

Hope soon I will find my doll friends too :-).

I also was quite surprised when last semester I saw a very unexpected mail in my mailbox. My 3rd Std class teacher had found my mail Id and mailed me. I did not at all expect any teacher for that matter to mail me. But to find the mail of a very special teacher made my day. She had sweetly addressed me as "Hi Professor, Do you remember me?" (She called me a professor because I was absent minded since those days only!). What a miracle , I thought!.

Sometimes stray incidents like these make you so happy that life feels so good to be true.


Thanks Internet!

Antha Roopasi Nanna Preyasii!!!!!!!!!

I always look forward to masterpieces from the renowned trio of Sonu Nigam - Mano Murthy and Jayanth Kaykini. It is a coincidence that just in my previous post I was singing praises of them. I was browsing kannadaaudio.com for any of their new works. The 3 stalwarts have become well established in the Kannada Industry churning hits after hits now.

And the latest in line that's driving me crazy is the song - "Maatinalli HeLalarenu" from the new movie "Bombaat". As always the music is haunting, Sonu's voice soothing and lyrics just out of the world.

"Maatinalli HeLalareno Rekheyalli Geechalarenu
Aadaranuu haaDadene Uliyalarenu
Antha Roopasi nanna Preyasi
Elli IruvaLo Nanna Kayisi
Naanu Prema Rogi dayamaadi vaasi madabeDi
Antha Roopasi nanna Preyasi
Omme avaLige nanna torisi

KannaLide aaa Kannalide
HombeLikina nava neeLanjana
innelide aha innelide
Hoo Manasina aa madhugunjana

Bere enuu kaanalare yaara naa dooralare
saaku innu Doorvannu taaLalarenu
Nanna Kanasinalli dayamaadi paalu keLabeDi

Antha Roopasi nanna preyasi
omme avaLige nanna torisi

Nageyallide aa bageyallide
bage hariyada aa avalokana
naDeyallide aa nuDiyallide
tale kedisuva aa amantraNa

Kanasiganta Chandavagi ALisadantha gandhavagi
modalabaari kaNda kshanave bandhiyaadenu
hode naanu kaLidu dayamaaDi patte maadabeDi

Antha Roopasi nanna preyasi omme avaLige nanna torisi..."

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How deep and wonderful are these words! None other than Jayanth Kaykini could pen such a beautiful poem.

Here's my attempt at translating the lyrics for my non Kannada friends.
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I cannot describe her with words, I cannot sketch her with lines
But I cannot stay away from singing about her
So beautiful is she,my love. Where is she? making me wait.

I have become sick in her love. Please dont cure me.
So beautiful is she, my love. Please show her once to me..

Its in her eyes, yes its in her very own eyes,
new lamps full of twilight.
Where else can there be, where else can there be
Buzzing of a bee apart from her flower like - heart.

I cannot see anything else, I cannot complain about anything else.
I have had enough of this separation from her.
Please dont ask for a share from my dreams about her.

So beautiful is she, my love. Please show her once to me..

Its in her smile, Its in her ways
An insight of mine which never is solved.
Its in her walk, Its in her words
An invitation which makes me go crazy.

It became more beautiful than a dream, It became an indelible sandal - mark
My captivation towards her when I saw her first.

I have become lost in her. Please dont find me.

So beautiful is she, my love. Please show her once to me..

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Heres the link in Kannada Audio.com which is of better quality



Heres the youtube link for the song! It might not be the best quality available. But adjust maadi :)

Ee sanje yakagide

I haven't seen a song better picturised in Kannada than Ee Sanje Yakagide. Kudos to the Cinematographer

Jayanth Kaykini's lyrics are soaked with romanticism. Sonu Nigam's excellent rendering makes it all the more pleasurable.


"Neenillade aa chandira ee kannali kasavagide.
Adanuuduva usirillade beladingalu asu neegide
aakashadi kaleyagide ee sanjeya koleyagide

eee gaya hasiyagide. eee gaya hasiyagide..

ee sanje yakagide neenillade ee sanje yakagide"